Hopeful @ Forty

A site for those of us "over 40's" that are looking to conceive after our 'supposed' past-sell-date!

Women over 40 getting pregnant- how age affects fertility — April 17, 2015

Women over 40 getting pregnant- how age affects fertility

Women over 40 getting pregnant- how age affects fertility

Last week, Dr. David Fenig talked about advanced maternal age and how fertility decreases after age 35, and again after age 40. It’s a fact that the spontaneous pregnancy rates for women over 40 are much lower than women under the age of 35.  Today, so many women are putting off having children to pursue career and education, yet are many times unaware how age affects fertility. The fact is, when it comes to child bearing, women really are limited by age.

Consider this chart which shows how the likelihood of a woman getting pregnant decreases from about an 86% chance between the ages of 20 and 24 years to about 35% between the ages of 40 and 44 years. This likelihood decreases even further by age 45 to a mere 5% chance of getting pregnant spontaneously. The chart also demonstrates how infertility rates rise significantly as a woman reaches age 40. The likelihood of infertility is about 15% between the ages of 35 and 39 and then rises sharply to 32% at age 40.

It’s important for women to understand that as they age, so do their eggs. Many women believe that if they are getting a regular period, that means they are ovulating (true) and there’s no problem with fertility or conceiving (not always true). However, older woman can have problems with eggs being fertilized, or fertilized healthily. In fact, for women over the age of 35, and especially over age 40, the risks of congenital birth defects also increase significantly.

It’s important to note that for couples trying to conceive naturally, we typically give women over the age of 35 only about six months of actively trying to get pregnant – which means monitoring ovulation monthly and having regular intercourse –  before we recommend that both partners have a thorough work up to evaluate fertility.

Fortunately, there are a number of fertility options that we can offer older women who are having trouble getting pregnant naturally including assisted reproductive technologies like Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) and In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). But, it’s important to note that even these fertility treatments are not as effective after age 38 and into the early 40’s because of the woman’s aging eggs. It’s so important to be seen by a fertility specialist as early as possible.

Additionally, for couples who come to the Vasectomy Reversal Center of America considering a vasectomy reversal, we make sure to educate them about the chances of conceiving naturally when the woman is over the age of 35. Because it can take six to 12 months for the man’s sperm count to reach an optimal stage for natural conception following a vasectomy reversal, women of advanced age often don’t have the luxury of time.

For women trying to conceive after age 35 or even age 40, education and understanding the effects that age has on fertility is truly important. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have about getting pregnant after 40 and to discuss the best options for you when it comes to conceiving a child…please feel free to leave your comments here.

– See more at: http://vasectomyreversalcenterofamerica.com/blog/women-over-40-getting-pregnant-how-age-affects-fertility/#sthash.qdTCjyWe.dpuf

5 Big Perks of Being an Older Parent & 5 Big Misses —

5 Big Perks of Being an Older Parent & 5 Big Misses

5 Big Perks of Being an Older Parent & 5 Big Misses

March 7, 2013 at 10:43 AM Being a Mom 31

My husband and I were both 44 years old when our only child was born. Our daughter is now 15 months old and we’re 45. We’re the oldest of the parents among our daughter’s Montessori classmates. Her teachers are young enough to be our own children.

See, this is the kind of mathematical comparing I do all the time.

When I was pregnant, my obstetrician referred to me as being of “advanced maternal age”. I accepted that. Being knocked up at 44 put me in a certain high risk category. But in all of the excitement of our pregnancy, I didn’t put a ton of thought into the “advanced parenting age” aspect of the situation.

So now that the dust has settled and we have a full year of parenting under our belts, I’ve had time to reflect on both sides of being a more “mature” parent — the joys as well as the fears. Let’s start with the good news.

1. We’re more emotionally stable. While parenting may no doubt put some on a fast track to maturity, I know that I would not have been a good parent in my younger days. I was too self-absorbed, too immature. My priorities then were completely different than my priorities now. Finally, in my mid-40s (I’m a late bloomer, what can I say), I find it much easier to put the needs of others before my own. I recognize that the children really are our future (cue Whitney Houston). And I do not take this responsibility lightly. I am more patient and flexible. I am less controlling (because I have learned it is futile!). I am much more resilient.

2. We’re more intellectually equipped. Let’s face it, although it seems like the children and young adults of today are incredibly bright and savvy, there’s a certain amount of wisdom that comes with age and experience. Because of all that I’ve lived through in my 40+ years, I’m more than a little wiser than I was in my younger years. I don’t sweat the small stuff nearly as much. I have learned to ask “how important is it?” before burning too much energy over something relatively trivial. I am smarter in choosing my battles. And I bring that “larger picture” perspective into my parenting.

3. We’re more financially secure. Having worked since I was 15 years old and having (literally) paid my dues, I’m no longer living paycheck to paycheck in a rented apartment. I have a quarter of a century’s worth of contributions in my 401(K). My husband and I are fortunate to be able to provide our daughter with a warm home, a yard in which to play, and the benefit of a good education. In addition to the necessities, we can also afford to hire a sitter when we want to give ourselves a night out. And once she is old enough, we’ll also be able to take our daughter on trips and give her a broad range of cultural experiences. These things would have been much more of a struggle for me had I had children in my younger years.

4. We take less for granted. When I was younger, I felt that I had nothing but time. That I’d get to that important thing “one of these days”. I don’t feel that way anymore. I want to get the most out of my time with my child. I want to experience things through her eyes. I want to be hands-on. I place much more value on life in general now. And having thought I’d never have a child, I’m grateful every day to be a parent. My husband and I still look at each other frequently and marvel, “we have a kid“! At my age, having a child is a wondrous gift, not a burden with which I have been saddled.

5. Kids keep us young. Right now, people probably assume that my husband and I are younger than we are because we have a young child. Our “peers”, those parents with children the same age as our child, are considerably younger. And I imagine that our daughter will be keeping us current with music and trends way longer than might otherwise have been the case. We can’t sit around in rocking chairs … we have a toddler running around!

As for the less positive side …

1. We will become elderly while our children are still young. This is a tough one. If we’re lucky enough to live to a ripe old age, we’re going to be reallllly ripe when our daughter is still relatively young. When she graduates from high school, we’ll already be in our 60s. We may miss a lot of things that younger parents get to enjoy: seeing our child become a parent; becoming grandparents; seeing our child succeed in her chosen career. Or even if we do live long enough to see these things, we might not be able to enjoy them as much as we would if we were younger. And it’s not just about what we’ll miss as parents. Our daughter may lose one or both parents while she’s relatively young. And she’s an only child, so she could literally be without an immediate family at that point.

2. There is a potentially huge cultural gap. There are already some things I just don’t “get” (one small example: the allure of Justin Bieber). I can’t imagine how this list will grow once my daughter is a teenager and I am pushing 60. (This is where #5 on the positive list will hopefully come in handy.)

3. We’re tired. We just don’t have the energy we did in our 20s or 30s. We tire more easily. We have less stamina. Most times a night in sounds way more appealing than a night out. Once our child is old enough to play sports, getting out in the yard and practicing with her will be more of a challenge for us than it would be for a younger parent. How we’re going to keep up with this child (much less stay one step ahead of her) is already a source of anxiety for me.

4. People will think we’re the grandparents. We’re the same age as some of our child’s friends’ grandparents, so at some point, I’m sure it’ll start to look like we’re the grandparents. At that point, though, we’ll probably be too tired to care.

5. We may become a burden on our child. This is probably the fear of every parent, but doubly so with older parents. It’s hard for me to see my own parents age and they are only 26 and 32 years older than me. I don’t want my child to ever have to worry about my health or well-being, but the odds are that she will, and at a much younger age than her peers.

All things considered, I have no regrets over having a child at my age. I believe that the good far outweighs the negative. But we definitely just have to be more mindful of appreciating every minute of the present, and carefully planning for the future, ours as well as that of our child.

I wanted to share this link to another post…. —
Emergency Section V Elected Section —

Emergency Section V Elected Section

my life. my love.

When Harley met Lola. xx When Harley met Lola. xx

I often get asked about the labour and delivery that I experienced with both my babies. In truth, both experiences were so completely different even though I had a Cesarean Section for both of them; the only difference being that one was an emergency and the other, elected. So I thought I would share my experience of both, for expectant mums.

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Three Truths About C-Section Mamas —
All Birth Stories Are Equal —

All Birth Stories Are Equal

Peplum & Politics

I am what is known in the digital world as an “over-sharer.” Last night I shared an article on Facebook called Three Truths About C-Section Mamas. The article immediately elicited a rapid-fire series of texts and emails and Facebook messages from my mom-friends who have also felt shamed by other mothers for having a c-section. As this article poignantly states, having a c-section is not the “first place trophy” of birthing options. It is the black sheep of birthing methods. That got me thinking about my own birth stories and how I remember people making me feel like my story was “less than” because I didn’t have a vaginal birth.

True to form, I am about to over-share; but for a good cause. April is International Cesarean Awareness Month and with that comes an important message: No matter what method you and your medical provider decide is best for bringing your…

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Well, that’s the first step… —

Well, that’s the first step…

Health Creation for Mums and Bubs

The first step to having a baby is to become pregnant (obviously!).

Now, this seems like an easy task; you know, do the ‘deed’ and bob’s your uncle! This is the case for some couples but unfortunately not most. In most cases it takes six months of regular unprotected intercourse to conceive. As this is the case, the definition of ‘infertility’ (previously the inability to conceive after twelve months) has altered and specialists suggest a fertility check up after a six month period instead.

Untitled Infographic

Prior to this consultation, fertility specialists have some suggestions to help your chances of conceiving:

1) Time when you do the ‘deed’: Having intercourse 24-48 hours prior to ovulation enhances the chances of the woman falling pregnant (she is most fertile during this period of time). You can work this out using a fertility calculator (like the one on the Melbourne IVF website) and it is…

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1st & 2nd Week Pregnancy: What Happens In These Weeks? —

1st & 2nd Week Pregnancy: What Happens In These Weeks?

Cognitive Dimension

When I was pregnant with my first-born I went all out and about to educate myself about what happens each week during pregnancy. This helped me know what is happening to my body and at what stage my growing baby is at. It also helped me realize what vital nutrients I should be consuming to help him grow in optimal conditions.

Here is a video by the Consumer Health Digest Channel on YouTube that clearly explains what happens during the first two weeks of pregnancy.

Also here is the full series on YouTube for you to watch: Consumer Health Digest Pregnancy Week By Week Video Series

Enjoy 🙂

Rasha Nasser Khalil

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Ovulation Charting….HELP — April 16, 2015
5 Things Not to Say to a C-Section Mom — April 15, 2015

5 Things Not to Say to a C-Section Mom

5 Things Not to Say to a C-Section Mom


Everyone needs to read this and be aware of what NOT to say to a c-section momma!

by Nikki Pennington | staff writer for The Snap Mom

I laid there in the hospital bed, just learning I would be having an emergency cesarean section. My first delivery was natural and I never anticipated things going any other way with my second pregnancy. I was already crushed  simply because I had invested so much time in preparing for my natural labor and delivery. I was just coming to terms with the fact that there was no other choice. I needed to do what was best for baby and myself. That’s when a loving family member walked in and said “Oh this is just awful. I was praying you would not have to get a c-section. Nobody wants a c-section.” The flood gates broke and I sobbed uncontrollably. Was I a bad mom for having to get a c-section? Was I less of a mother because of how my baby was being delivered? It was the worst thing that could have been said to me at that very vulnerable moment. Trust me, there are plenty more things I heard over the following days and months. Let me spare you the foot-in-mouth moment and share with you what not to say to a c-section mom.

1. “At least you won’t have to go through labor.”

labor gif

Actually, this is wrong. With my second pregnancy that ended in an emergency c-section, we were unaware it would be needed. My baby flipped last minute turning breech. I labored for hours the entire day before, all through the night and the next day until I went into the hospital. With my third child, a scheduled c-section, I went into labor early the day before and waited it out at the hospital until the following morning for surgery. I was very dilated and refused an epidural because I knew more medication was to come during surgery. Trust me, I have labored with each.

2. “I’m having a hard time deciding who I want in the delivery room with me.”

oh brother gif

That must be a very nice problem to have. C-section moms do not get to pick and choose who comes in the surgery room with us. We get one person and for most we can’t record or take pictures until after baby is in recovery area with us. We don’t get to have someone in there taking pictures at most hospitals, or have loving family members cheering us on. I remember crying over the time I wanted my husband and my best friend with me only to find out it wasn’t allowed in the operating room.

3. “The baby is basically pulled out of you, no work.”

really gif

I’ve been told “You don’t have to do any pushing or anything, they just take that baby right out for a c-section.” Nope, no pushing, I’m just laying there fully awake while I am being worked on. Just having a major surgery, no big deal.

4. “It’s only a small cut.”

small cut

I always found this one interesting. It’s a small cut that hurts and aches and stays numb for a very long time. It builds scar tissue that causes pain at random times. It’s a cut that I have to worry over and watch for weeks to make sure infection does not set in. Don’t get me wrong, I love my c-section scar, it reminds me that this body helped me carry a sweet baby no matter how they came into the world. It is a small scar, but there is so much more to it.

5. “At least you don’t bleed as long as a natural birth does.”

no labor gif

We in fact do bleed for as long, many weeks. We still had a surgery and we were still carrying a baby just the same way as others that had a natural birth, so our bodies still do about the same thing.

I’m not embarrassed about my c-sections. I’ve had a natural birth and I like being able to relate and share stories with both natural birth and c-section moms. Yet, being a c-section mom can be a sensitive topic sometimes, so let’s try to remember that the next time we share birth stories. C-section moms still have birth stories and experiences just like other moms :)